Day 7 - Commitment - Apathy

 Commitment (Goal Number:         )                         Apathy

adopt, action,  consecration, dedication, diligence indifference, passive, wait,

                                                                                           dawdle, lethargy

AWAKE TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

Commitment leads you to adopt the highest course of action as your life becomes consecrated to living from your own genuine values. Your actions are consistent with your values. Your dedication is exemplary. You are diligent in your efforts to remember the genuine values and to live from all that you can in any given moment. You know that effectiveness and commitment are closely related. You find a great clarity from being focused and committed. Once you give your commitment to any person or project, you can be counted upon to fulfill your promise for you diligently take action that supports your commitment. If something happens that interferes with your commitment, you re-negotiate your agreement to the satisfaction of all concerned. Your commitment leads you to work for a winning solution for everyone.

PARTIALLY ASLEEP TO THE GENUINE VALUE:  

You are committed to a few things fully, more things haphazardly, and most things not at all. It feels like too much effort to live diligently taking action and true to your commitments. Perhaps you have tried periodically and either failed or decided it was not worth the effort. You may be telling yourself that things that matter are too big and you cannot possibly make much of a difference --- so why even bother to try? You look away more than your heart wants you to.

LIVING IN THE IMPOSTOR VALUE: 

You have succumbed to the amnesia mist and are experiencing more apathy than commitment. You look at life through a dismal lens. You think nothing can be done to make things better. You look indifferently at the ways people live who are out of harmony with the genuine ways. You are not actively seeking ways to wake up and help others but are passively killing time and biding your days. You are living in the wait mode rather than in fast forward. At work and at home you dawdle, doing just as little as you can get by with doing. You shrug your shoulders and think there is little worth doing or at least little that would make a difference. You are lethargic, just getting by. You are often bored. You have resigned yourself to life being the way it is.

Look at your life. Which is the most true for you?   ____ 1   _____ 2  _____ 3

 What to do:

DECISION

This may be the moment for your decision about commitment. Imagine what the rest of your life will be like if you live in apathy. Imagine being unable or unwilling to commit to anything noble or worthy or that takes work and effort. Imagine the legacy you leave with such a life. Now imagine you live the rest of your life committed to the highest and best, to giving yourself to making this a better world. Imagine you are committed to following your deepest inner urgings. Imagine others committed to greatness and living with a dedication to life.

Choose. Which do you want for yourself and your world? Which way would you like life to be?

FOCUSING YOUR MIND

Going for the target you have chosen

To tune your mind to commitment, select one or all of the following statements to repeat numerous times to yourself. You may want to put them on note cards and carry  them with you to read many times until you begin to feel them as your own truth.

•     I am more and more comfortable with commitment.

•     Taking appropriate action is a joy.

•     What and who are worthy of my commitment are easier and easier for me to discern.

•     I really enjoy being dedicated to the things that make the center of my being sing.

•     I can hardly imagine that I was once apathetic.

•     As a committed person, I feel so effective. I AM so effective!

•     I enjoy having a dedicated focus in my life.

•     I am an active part of an awakening, improving, more wonderful world.

•     I am committed to greatness --- mine and other’s!

REINFORCING BEHAVIORS

Action steps to take to get off the log

•     Contemplate the things that used to matter a lot to you when you were younger. Write a list. Consider which ones still mean a lot to you. Pick at least one and do something positive in support of it.

•     Knowing that your life can be a model of how the highest human life can be, involve yourself in a project that you totally believe in and model loving commitment.

•     Find a need, gather a team, create a solution and do something wonderful together to fill that need.

•     Look at how you spend your time. Keep a log for a week. Cut down on the time spent on things you cannot feel committed about and expand the time spent on the things for which you feel commitment.

•     Select your most important values and read them daily, affirming commitment to them.

•     What one area, if you would work on it with dedication would most positively change your life? Make a plan to work on that area.

•     Each day for a week write in your journal about the imprisoned greatness waiting to express through you.

•     Take a walk and repeat, for various things that you see as you look around you: I am focused. I am focused as I look at this ______.

•     Write two eulogies for your funeral. One eulogy is from the perspective of the rest of your life lived in apathy, while the other is if you live the rest of your life committed to be all you can be.

•     If you find your life slipping into apathy, stop, take 3 deep breaths, and use one of the focusing statements, repeating it until you are focused. Now, ask yourself what would be the highest thing to do her, listen, trust and act.

Reflecting Day

On the 7th day of our values journey together, let's take a day of reflection.

Please think about the first six values, especially the one you most dearly find important in your life, plus the one you like the least, 

What about them draws you or repels you?

What does that tell you about yourself?

How can being more awake to them be helpful to your life?

I want to reiterate that I absolutely know you came to this planet, this time, this place on purpose with a purpose, and furthermore, it is important for each of us to wake up and live that purpose. 

It is my guidance that by considering these 40 values, we can be more able and empowered to do just that.

We are all one of a kind masterpieces, unique, precious, and sacred.We only are able to live our purpose in our own unique way. No one else can be you.

Thank you for joining me on this adventure.

Day 6 - Affiliation - Separation

 Affiliation        (Goal Number:         )             Separation

community, involvement, bonding, companionship                withdrawal, aloofness, standoffishness, unsocialbleness

AWAKE TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

When you are clear about affiliation, you remember that you are a part of the community of humanity, one human family. You are aware that at various levels, all life is involved with each another. At both subtle and obvious levels all life on earth shares the same air and water and future. All people share similar situations. It is fun for you to cheer for  others as they  triumph over life’s challenges, and you like to reach out a helping hand. Involvement reflects your true nature. You experience the high honor it is to be part of the process of life. You know that we all share this journey called life. The more you share, the more alive you feel and the more bonded you are to others. When you stop for just a few moments of reflection, you  realize we understand each other at deep levels. In so many ways, we are all one. Camaraderie is an exquisite gift that you cherish. As you  look upon the community of life on earth, you see how intricately you are woven into all of it.

PARTIALLY ASLEEP TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

You may feel alienated from other people or other forms of life on earth part of the time. Perhaps you allow some into your heart of hearts, reserving that space for a select few. Perhaps you never fully open yourself to be involved completely. You may feel separate part of the time, but putting up a good front, few others realize how apart you feel inside. You can be charming on the outside, but deeply uncomfortable on the inside. It only marginally bothers you when difficult things happen to others. You only feel like reaching out to those within your closed circle.

LIVING IN THE IMPOSTOR VALUE: 

You feel separate much of the time with most if not all people. You think you are the only one or one of few who are going through whatever it is that are going through. You have withdrawn from the larger community. You may have even withdraws from all others. You have put up a protective barrier that is called aloofness. It is very frightening to live cut off from companionship with your community, so it is no wonder you have a standoffish way about you. You are not sociable, and being in social groups may evoke terror in you. You may have told yourself that you have to live this way. Your reasons include things like: it is not safe to let others in; there are many dangerous people out there; you have to watch your back, everyone knows that; you can only trust your friends, but it’s hard to know who they are; etc.

Look at your life. Which is the most true for you?   ____ 1   _____ 2  _____ 3

What to do:

DECISION

In order to make a shift, it is essential to decide between your options, consciously and with full consent. Begin by closing your eyes and visualizing what life for you would be like if you lived in total separation for the rest of your life. Let yourself come into full understanding. Expand your mental picturing now to see what the world would be like if everyone lived in total aloofness.

Now visualize what life for you would be like if you lived with affiliation and community as your guides. Let yourself come into full understanding. Expand your mental picturing now to see what the world would be like if everyone lived in an involved way.

Choose. Which do you want for yourself and your world? Which way would you like life to be?

FOCUSING YOUR MIND

Going for the target you have chosen

In order to achieve the things your inner self longs to achieve, some refocusing of your mind will be helpful. Begin by redefining yourself. Select one or more of the following statements to repeat with great frequency in order to develop your new mindset. Choose the statements according to your conscious listening to your intuition. Copy your choices on 3x5 cards to keep with you and use during your day.

•     I am willing to have the complete fun that can only come with deep bonding with others.

•     Camaraderie sounds more and more desirable to me.

•     I am ready and willing to be part of a community of people connected at the deepest levels.

•     I am no longer willing to withdraw and miss the greatest moments of life.

•     The moment I sense any pulling back, I will find in myself the perfect idea to bring my involvement into the present moment.

•     Every day I become more and more comfortable with living in harmony with others.

•     I find myself becoming a more and more positively involved person.

•     I admire those who are part of a community.

•     I think it is possible to live in harmony with all peoples.

REINFORCING BEHAVIORS

Action steps to take to get off the log

•     Think of all of the people in your life with love. Think of something good about each one.

•     Make a list of the people you personally know that you admire the most. What about them do you admire? Invite them all to a party, dinner, picnic, or some such event. Give yourself permission to really enjoy being with people you admire.

•     Make a list of the people in the world you admire the most. What about them do you admire? Write them a note acknowledging them for their admirable qualities.

•     Make a list of the people with whom you feel at odds. Think about at least one positive thing about each one (everyone is someone’s favorite person!) Ask yourself how you could create a more positive relationship with them.

•     Look for ways to connect with people.

•     With friends and family, open up a little more than you ever have. Share your heart.

•     Find one or more ways each day to be helpful to others.

•     If you need something, share your need and be open to let others give to you.

•     Clip from magazines and newspapers examples of people caring. Perhaps start a caring scrapbook to look over from time to time.

•     If you find your life slipping into aloofness, stop, take 3 deep breaths, and use one of the focusing statements, repeating it until you are focused again. Now, ask yourself what would be the highest and most caring thing  to do here, listen, trust and take action.

Day 5 - Affection - Violence

 Affection          (Goal Number:         )            Violence

liking, caring, kindness, fondness, favor                                          hate, heartlessness, hostility, ruthlessness, savagery

 AWAKE TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

When you are awake to affection, you care for yourself and others with a positive attitude and affection. You remember that each person on this planet is part of the great oneness of humanity, all coming from the same Divine Parent. You recall that actually we are each other's sisters and brothers. In your natural state, you like yourself and others. Your affection manifests as caring and kindness towards yourself and others. No one is left out of the circle. You want good for each and every person. You constantly look for ways to show your kindness. There is no spot in your heart where you withhold the desire for goodness for everyone. You care about even those people who have forgotten who they are and behave in backward or disharmonious ways. You are determined that you will not be controlled by the behavior of others, that your kindness is who you are.

PARTIALLY ASLEEP TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

You have shut off some of your affection for yourself and for others. Your tenderness and caring are slowed down and cloudy. You find it hard to give or receive encouraging words and hugs except with those most close to you. You shy away from some people, suspecting their motives. You feel unsafe with certain people. You think that affection and caring have to be doled out carefully for they make you vulnerable to others. You want to be sure you are not in anyone else’s debt, so you are reserved in reaching out to people. You find it hard to give yourself affection. You may worry about being too kind to yourself, not wanting to appear egotistic. 

LIVING IN THE IMPOSTOR VALUE: 

You have forgotten affection and live one of the hardest kinds of lives. You say things to yourself that are demeaning and devoid of affection. You say unkind things to others also. Your life has violence in it. You may think that violence is entertaining. You go to hurtful programs, watch violent movies, listen to violent music and expect to have violence perpetrated upon you. You may have hate in your heart for someone or some group. You have elaborate excuses that make heartlessness seem all right in your eyes, at least in certain cases. Some people in certain circumstances deserve violence, you think. You find yourself hostile more and more of the time. You are becoming desensitized to violence. Savagery seems less and less unusual and less and less wrong. Your heartlessness may extend to all kinds of life, humans, animals, plants, and Mother Earth Herself. In some cases, your violence and condoning of violence may be masquerading and seem subtle. Look carefully.

Look at your life. Which is the most true for you?   ____ 1   _____ 2  _____ 3

What to do:

                                                    DECISION

In order to make a shift, it is essential to decide between your options, consciously and with full consent. Begin by closing your eyes and visualizing what life for you would be like if you lived in total violence for the rest of your life. Let yourself come into full understanding. Expand your mental picturing now to see what the world would be like if everyone lived in total heartlessness.

Now visualize what life for you would be like if you lived with affection and kindness as your guides. Let yourself come into full understanding. Expand your mental picturing now to see what the world would be like if everyone lived in a caring and kind way.

Choose. Which do you want for yourself and your world? Which way would you like life to be?

FOCUSING YOUR MIND

Going for the target you have chosen

In order to achieve the things your inner self longs to achieve, some refocusing of your mind will be helpful. Begin by redefining yourself. Select one or more of the following statements to repeat with great frequency in order to develop your new mindset. Choose the statements according to your conscious listening to your intuition. Copy your choices on 3x5 cards to keep with you and use during your day.

•     I am willing to be affectionate.

•     I can separate affection and kindness from sex, so that I can be affectionate and kind without sexual agenda.

•     I am willing to learn to receive and give appropriate affection and kindness.

•     I no longer am willing to have any violence in my life.

•     The moment I sense any hostility, I find in myself the perfect idea to bring  kindness into the moment.

•     Every day I become more and more comfortable with affection.

•     I find myself becoming a more and more caring person.

•     I admire those who are kind and caring of themselves and others.

•     I am genuinely fond of myself.

•     I find things I can be fond of in each and every person I meet.

•     I am a truly caring and kind person.

REINFORCING BEHAVIORS

Action steps to take to get off the log

•     Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are a good person and you care about yourself. Spend five minutes every morning and evening in this way.

•     Give extra hugs to your loved ones today.

•     Find one or more new kind and caring things to do each day.

•     As you move about your life and see other people, some of whom you do not know, say to yourself, “I only want good for these people.”

•     Ask someone you know for a hug.

•     Write a caring note to someone you know. Mail it. Now write a caring note to someone you have only heard or read about and mail that too.

•     Find books, music, movies, games, etc. that reinforce caring and kind behavior. Refuse to read books, listen to music, go to movies or play games that glorify violence or hostility in any way.

•     Find a program in your community that cares and participate in it.

•     If you find your life slipping into hostility, stop, take 3 deep breaths, and use one of the focusing statements, repeating it until you are focused again. Now, ask yourself what would be the affectionate, caring thing to do here, listen, trust and take action.

Day 4 - Aesthetics - Vulgarity

 Aesthetics      (Goal Number:         )            Vulgarity

artistic,  beautiful, good taste,  decorous, pleasing                 coarse, discordant, unrefined, low, disrespect for the lovely

AWAKE TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

Within you there is a deep appreciation of beauty. You see loveliness surrounding you. You make sure your environment is beautiful. With your sense of good taste, you make even the most humble sparkle. You have an artistic flair that puts things together in such a way as they are pleasing to behold. Even in difficult times, you bring the beautiful to wherever you are. Others feel good being with you, partly because of your inner beauty that is reflected in all you do. You appreciate a wide variety of beautiful expressions. You appreciate the good taste of others. You love artists, composers, and designers for the beauty they create. You celebrate the natural beauty all around you, the flowers, the trees, the sky, and all that it displays from rainbows to the fascinating clouds. You refuse to have anything less in your life. 

PARTIALLY ASLEEP TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

You have gotten a bit sloppy, allowing some things to be less than beautiful around you. You have some fine excuses for why your home, office, clothing, etc. are not reflections of loveliness. You have taken a course of action that requires little of your imagination in bringing beauty forward in any consistent way. You tell yourself you’ll get around to it later, but you never do. You may have certain areas that are lovely, but this is not consistently so.

LIVING IN THE IMPOSTOR VALUE: 

You make everything around you vulgar. You bring together the coarse and unrefined and allow them in your immediate environment and within you. You have discordant energies in your trappings and in your circle of friends. You draw to yourself that which is low and unrefined. You even have disrespect for the lovely and may do your best to make lovely things ugly. You do not honor artists, composers or designers. You may even make fun of those who find aesthetics as important. You may call them names and sneer at them. In extreme cases, you may have such low respect for works of art that you try to deface them. From your environment to your choices of friends and ways to spend time, you show a predilection for the vulgar.

Look at your life. Which is the most true for you?   ____ 1   _____ 2  _____ 3

What to do:

DECISION

In order to make a shift, it is essential to decide between your options, consciously and with full consent. Begin by closing your eyes and visualizing what life for you would be like if you lived in total vulgarity for the rest of your life. Let yourself come into full understanding. Expand your mental picturing now to see what the world would be like if everyone lived in total vulgarity.

Now visualize what life for you would be like if you lived in total aesthetics. Let yourself come into full understanding. Expand your mental picturing now to see what the world would be like if everyone lived in total aesthetics, participating fully in the lovely and the beautiful.

Choose. Which do you want for yourself and your world? Which way would you like life to be?

FOCUSING YOUR MIND

Going for the target you have chosen

In order to achieve the things your inner self longs to achieve, some refocusing of your mind will be helpful. Begin by redefining yourself. Select one or more of the following statements to repeat with great frequency in order to develop your new mindset. Choose the statements according to your conscious listening to your intuition. Copy your choices on 3x5 cards to keep with you and use during your day.

•     I am willing to only surround myself with that which reflects beauty.

•     My eye is opening to be able to distinguish that which is beautiful from that which is vulgar.

•     I appreciate good taste.

•     The minute I find myself in any kind of ugliness, I am inspired to bring beauty into that moment.

•     My ears listen in a new way for sounds of beauty.

•     My eyes constantly see that which is beautiful.

•     I am a beautiful person, inside and out. This is reflected in all I am and all I do.

•     I find examples of aesthetics everywhere.

•     The vulgar no longer has any hold on me. I embrace the lovely.

REINFORCING BEHAVIORS

Action steps to take to get off the log

•     Find areas of your life that are not aesthetic. Alter them so that they are aesthetic. If you are out of practice, invite suggestions or help from a friend or professional  to help you. Be sure they exhibit loveliness in alignment with your sense of taste.

•     Go to the library and look at magazines and books that show good taste, great art, and the beautiful.

•     Go to an art museum and slowly contemplate the works that appeal most to you.

•     Go to a concert and listen to the incredibly lovely sounds of the music.

•     Listen in a new way to the radio. Try the classical station.

•     Drive or walk down streets and look for examples of aesthetics in landscape and architecture. Perhaps send a note of appreciation to some of the outstanding examples, thanking them for contributing to the beauty of the community.

•     Go through your closet and eliminate clothes that are not aesthetic, that you do not feel handsome or beautiful when you wear them. Perhaps give them to the poor. When you shop for new clothes, take plenty of time to make sure they are aesthetically pleasing to you in all ways --- color, style, etc.

•     Join a project in your community to beautify some area or some building.

•     If you find your life slipping into vulgarity, stop, take 3 deep breaths, and use one of the focusing statements, repeating it until you are focused again. Now, ask yourself what would be the aesthetic thing to do here, listen, trust and take action.

Day 3 - Adventure -Unwillingnss

 Adventure       (Goal Number:         )            Unwillingness

pioneering, excitement, daring, quest, mission                      resistant, guarded, over cautious, wary, play it safe

AWAKE TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

There is something in you that knows how exciting it is to be on earth and have the unique and wonderful experience of life. You feel a call to pioneer in some way. You know that being a pioneer is exciting. You are sometimes daring, on the exciting edge of adventure. You believe that life is a quest, for all of the answers are not in. You have a sense of mission. Nothing can stop you from accomplishing this mission, and you expect to have a good time in the journey to achieve your mission. You have a sense that in some way you are accountable to a Higher Power for carrying out your mission. Sometimes it takes vigorous courage, but you continue to move outside of the bounds of how it has been in the past.

PARTIALLY ASLEEP TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

You have fallen away in part from your sense of adventure and mission. Sometimes you feel bored. You find yourself being overcautious when it is not really necessary. You tend to ward off excitement from your life except at designated times, such as vacations. You play with the idea that your life makes a difference, but you rarely seem to follow through with your dreams. You sometimes think you will get out of the rut and even do so in spurts, but you settle back into routine. You see others with zest and adventure, but you do not count yourself among them most of the time. Your life is uneven as you sway back and forth between adventure and unwillingness.

LIVING IN THE IMPOSTOR VALUE: 

You are unwilling to risk. You are resistant to change, to new ideas, to anything out of the ordinary. You are a guarded person, living behind a wall and a mask. You are over-cautious about your choices and your activities. You would rather play it safe and sit home on the sofa watching television, watching others live the adventure. You are wary of anything new or different or even a bit daring. You want to play it safe, for you forgot who you really are. You are busy protecting your life from your dreams. You have your reasons, and they even sound “reasonable” to you some days. But, there is a suspicion in your heart that you are fooling only yourself.

Look at your life. Which is the most true for you?   ____ 1   _____ 2  _____ 3

What to do:

In order to achieve the things your inner self longs to achieve, some refocusing of your mind will be helpful. Begin by redefining yourself. Select one or more of the following statements to repeat with great frequency in order to develop your new mindset. Choose the statements according to your conscious listening to your intuition. Copy your choices on 3x5 cards to keep with you and use during your day.

•     I am willing to feel the excitement and adventure of living on earth.

•     It is all right for me to be a pioneer.

•     This life is a quest when it is lived fully.

•   The moment I sense any unwillingness in me, I immediately turn myself around and look for new trails and new adventures so that I am continually embracing life to its fullest.

•     Life itself is a daring adventure, and I love it.

•     I have a sense of mission, and I cannot play it safe any longer. I’m going for it.

•     I am tired of being bored. I’m ready to live.

•     I am ready to fully embrace the experience of life.

•  The mask of unwillingness no longer has any fascination for me. It does not protect me. I am drawn instead to adventure.

REINFORCING BEHAVIORS

Action steps to take to get off the log

•     Take each of the focusing statements and write a full 5 minutes in your journal about each. Put down whatever comes to mind without censoring or stopping. At the end, re-read what you have written. Glean the insights.

•     This week, do at least one thing you would consider adventurous.

•     Go for a walk in a park or the country. Talk out loud to yourself about adventure and unwillingness.

•     Out of doors, in a private setting, talk out loud to yourself about the following:

         • If I could do anything wonderful, without restrictions, what I would like to do is.....

                 • The special thing I’ve always secretly wanted to do is......

             • When I die, I will be proud to have it said about my life.....

        •  Do some or all of the things that come to you during your walks.

        •   Write for 30 minutes on what keeps you from living fully. Re-read what you wrote. Write a plan of action to become fully engaged in life.

        •  Write or draw something that represents your unwillingness to you. Burn it, and say as it burns, all unwillingness is now gone from me, it has gone up in smoke and remains only as insignificant ashes. I am now ready to embrace my life fully.

        •  If you find your life slipping into unwillingness, stop, take 3 deep breaths, and use one of the focusing statements, repeating it until you are focused again. Now, ask yourself what would be the adventurous thing to do here, listen, trust and take action.

Getting Off of the Log

 I just  realized, since I cannot put the entire Values book on this blog, I didn't explain the section about getting off of the log.

There were five frogs sitting on a log. Two decided to jump off. How many frogs were left on the log?

Five. Deciding is not doing. It may or may not lead to action.

The symbol on my book cover and cards was a frog, as a rejminder we have to actually do something to move onward and upward. I used to have a glass and ceramic frog ccollection given to me by various people of this world who took my values workshops. They are now gone, along with all of my things due to the betrayal I shared with you, starting in April of this year. All of the people and memories, however, live in my heart.

As you go through these 40 values with me, I encourage you to jump off of your log. Please invite friends to join us on this Values Adventure.

Also, you can take a day or a week on each set as you work through them. You can, of course, go back and review or go through them again. Just don't get stuck on one, keep going through all of them the first time through.

God bless you.

P.S. When people email me from this blog, for some reason all I receive is "regards." If you have a question or comment, please just email me at marleneoaks56@gmail.com