Day 3 - Adventure -Unwillingnss

 Adventure       (Goal Number:         )            Unwillingness

pioneering, excitement, daring, quest, mission                      resistant, guarded, over cautious, wary, play it safe

AWAKE TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

There is something in you that knows how exciting it is to be on earth and have the unique and wonderful experience of life. You feel a call to pioneer in some way. You know that being a pioneer is exciting. You are sometimes daring, on the exciting edge of adventure. You believe that life is a quest, for all of the answers are not in. You have a sense of mission. Nothing can stop you from accomplishing this mission, and you expect to have a good time in the journey to achieve your mission. You have a sense that in some way you are accountable to a Higher Power for carrying out your mission. Sometimes it takes vigorous courage, but you continue to move outside of the bounds of how it has been in the past.

LIVING IN THE IMPOSTOR VALUE: 

You are unwilling to risk. You are resistant to change, to new ideas, to anything out of the ordinary. You are a guarded person, living behind a wall and a mask. You are over-cautious about your choices and your activities. You would rather play it safe and sit home on the sofa watching television, watching others live the adventure. You are wary of anything new or different or even a bit daring. You want to play it safe, for you forgot who you really are. You are busy protecting your life from your dreams. You have your reasons, and they even sound “reasonable” to you some days. But, there is a suspicion in your heart that you are fooling only yourself.

What to do:

In order to achieve the things your inner self longs to achieve, some refocusing of your mind will be helpful. Begin by redefining yourself. Select one or more of the following statements to repeat with great frequency in order to develop your new mindset. Choose the statements according to your conscious listening to your intuition. Copy your choices on 3x5 cards to keep with you and use during your day.

•     I am willing to feel the excitement and adventure of living on earth.

•     It is all right for me to be a pioneer.

•     This life is a quest when it is lived fully.

•   The moment I sense any unwillingness in me, I immediately turn myself around and look for new trails and new adventures so that I am continually embracing life to its fullest.

•     Life itself is a daring adventure, and I love it.

•     I have a sense of mission, and I cannot play it safe any longer. I’m going for it.

•     I am tired of being bored. I’m ready to live.

•     I am ready to fully embrace the experience of life.

•  The mask of unwillingness no longer has any fascination for me. It does not protect me. I am drawn instead to adventure.

REINFORCING BEHAVIORS

Action steps to take to get off the log

•     Take each of the focusing statements and write a full 5 minutes in your journal about each. Put down whatever comes to mind without censoring or stopping. At the end, re-read what you have written. Glean the insights.

•     This week, do at least one thing you would consider adventurous.

•     Go for a walk in a park or the country. Talk out loud to yourself about adventure and unwillingness.

•     Out of doors, in a private setting, talk out loud to yourself about the following:

         • If I could do anything wonderful, without restrictions, what I would like to do is.....

                 • The special thing I’ve always secretly wanted to do is......

             • When I die, I will be proud to have it said about my life.....

        •  Do some or all of the things that come to you during your walks.

        •   Write for 30 minutes on what keeps you from living fully. Re-read what you wrote. Write a plan of action to become fully engaged in life.

        •  Write or draw something that represents your unwillingness to you. Burn it, and say as it burns, all unwillingness is now gone from me, it has gone up in smoke and remains only as insignificant ashes. I am now ready to embrace my life fully.

        •  If you find your life slipping into unwillingness, stop, take 3 deep breaths, and use one of the focusing statements, repeating it until you are focused again. Now, ask yourself what would be the adventurous thing to do here, listen, trust and take action.

Getting Off of the Log

 I just  realized, since I cannot put the entire Values book on this blog, I didn't explain the section about getting off of the log.

There were five frogs sitting on a log. Two decided to jump off. How many frogs were left on the log?

Five. Deciding is not doing. It may or may not lead to action.

The symbol on my book cover and cards was a frog, as a rejminder we have to actually do something to move onward and upward. I used to have a glass and ceramic frog ccollection given to me by various people of this world who took my values workshops. They are now gone, along with all of my things due to the betrayal I shared with you, starting in April of this year. All of the people and memories, however, live in my heart.

As you go through these 40 values with me, I encourage you to jump off of your log. Please invite friends to join us on this Values Adventure.

Also, you can take a day or a week on each set as you work through them. You can, of course, go back and review or go through them again. Just don't get stuck on one, keep going through all of them the first time through.

God bless you.

P.S. When people email me from this blog, for some reason all I receive is "regards." If you have a question or comment, please just email me at marleneoaks56@gmail.com

Day 2 - Advancement - Retreat

 Advancement                           (Goal Number:         )            Retreat

improving, progressing, promotion, uplift                                           worsen, deteriorate, waste, regress, decay, languish

AWAKE TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

There is something in you that knows you could improve areas within yourself, in your life, and within the world, and furthermore, you want to do so. You know that here on earth we are offered the opportunity to progress, for this is not a static place. You seek to promote expansion in understanding and experience for yourself and others. You like to be on a continual upward spiral of advancement. You feel good when you uplift others. You get excited about advances in all areas. You are able to let go of the status quo and open yourself to the unfolding greatness that lies as potential within each person.

LIVING IN THE IMPOSTOR VALUE: 

You live with retreat as your life. Your condition continually worsens, as does life around you, but you feel powerless to advance. You look at things around you deteriorating. You waste time, energy, and resources. In some ways, you have regressed. Your dreams are in decay. You are languishing rather than being an energetic force for advancement.

What to do:

In order to achieve the things your inner self longs to achieve, some refocusing of your mind will be helpful. Begin by redefining yourself. Select one or more of the following statements to repeat with great frequency in order to develop your new mindset. Choose the statements according to your conscious listening to your intuition. Copy your choices on 3x5 cards to keep with you and use during your day.

•     I feel myself more and more ready to advance.

•     The time is now for me to move up.

•     I am ready to let go and risk moving in a positive direction.

•     I have given up the idea life has to be the way it is, and I thrill at the advancement into a better life.

•     I want to do the things that develop my inner self.

•     As soon as I am aware of retreating kinds of behavior, I immediately turn myself around and find new ways to move into advancement.

•     When I see others advancing, I am happy for them.

•     Improvement and progress are exciting to me, and I welcome them as regular experiences.

•     Retreat no longer has any fascination for me. I am drawn to advancement.

REINFORCING BEHAVIORS

Action steps to take to get off the log

•     Do one or more things each day that bring uplift to yourself.

•     Do one or more things each day that bring uplift to others.

•     Look for examples of progress everywhere. Notice how happy progressive people are.

•     Find at least one thing a day, however tiny or large, that you can improve, and do it or at least begin it and follow through to completion.

•     For 30 minutes stand with one foot as if rooted in the ground. You can move a little, but one foot stays still. Notice how being stuck feels. Decide to stop retreating from life. It’s okay to advance.

•     Look for needs to fill in your community and volunteer to participate in filling one of them.

•     Be alert to any part of you that wants to retreat. Talk to that part of you as if you were a friend, and gently encourage it to try a little advancement.

•     If you find your life slipping into retreat, stop, take 3 deep breaths, and use one of the focusing statements, repeating it until you are focused again. Now, ask yourself what would be the uplifting thing to do here, listen, trust and take action?

Day One - Achievement - Stagnation

 Achievement                            (Goal Number:         )            Stagnation

accomplishing, producing, fulfill, conclude                                                                        inertia, laziness, apathy, failure, undone

Of course, I am speaking here of positive achievement. It is fulfilling to achieve a goal in any area of life, to  ccomplete whatever it is and to have it done well. 

I have come to believe it is important for us to have goals, otherwise we just thrash around in life, doing this or that in random ways. And, I believe we also need to have a vision for our lives, something aspirational, not really reachable, but our overarching guide. To say I follow Christ, I need to be as Christlike as possible. So when I notice I'm not, I readjust myself and try again. In addition, a more practical and reachable goal for me is to be a beneficial presence wherever I am, with whomever is present, so that it is better because I came.

There is an urge within us to do just this. Often for me, it is a spiritual goal, such as meditate and pray daily. Or it could be to finish a  quilt, a painting, a book, or once upon a time to graduate. It can be an inner goal or an outer goal.

I am certain we are each created on purpose, with a purpose. God is counting on us to fulfill that purpose. Each of us is a one of a kind masterpiece, unique, precious. We need to step up to be the best version of ourselves that we can possibly be.

AWAKE TO THE GENUINE VALUE: Something in you longs for achievement. You have many ideas and plans. You want the nice things of life, but you also want more. You have a sense of mission and purpose. You have a passion for life on earth. You want to accomplish something noble and worthwhile and consistently take actions leading in this direction. You are determined to fulfill your dreams. You complete and conclude projects, leaving nothing unattended or undone. You intend to fulfill your potential. You enjoy trying out your skills and succeeding. And, you are not afraid mistakes, for they lead you to learning and ever increasing skills. Whenever you fall down, you pick yourself up, brush yourself off, evaluate what just happened, make new choices and move forward. 

LIVING IN THE IMPOSTOR VALUE: 

You live with stagnation in your life. It is hard for you to get going. It is hard for you to get up and get on with the projects that would lead to achievement. You think others get the good breaks in life. You may consider yourself lazy more often than not. You are apathetic about your life and the life going on around you. You have failed and left much undone You have some well-developed excuses about it all. You probably sigh frequently. You sometimes are aware that you are in a rut. You feel bored more and more often, and part of the time you have numbed yourself so that you do not have to feel at all.

What to do:

In order to achieve the things your inner self longs to achieve, some refocusing of your mind will be helpful. Begin by redefining yourself. Select one or more of the following statements to repeat with great frequency in order to develop your new mindset. Choose the statements according to your conscious listening to your intuition. Copy your choices on 3x5 cards to keep with you and use during your day.

 

•     Each day I find it easier and easier to achieve the things I set out to do.

•     I know I have achieved many things so far, and now I am ready to achieve even more.

•     I am ready and willing to achieve my highest dreams.

•     The moment I start stagnating, I turn myself around and enjoy finding a new way to achieve my goals.

•     It feels natural for me to be an achieving kind of person.

•     I have so much fun discovering new ways to reach success.

•     My mind is open to innovative ways to re-aim my focus so that I keep going toward my highest goals.

•     I applaud others in their achievements and enjoy receiving their applause for mine.

•     I came to earth to achieve great things. I am now ready to be true to my original intentions.

•     It feels good to achieve. I like it!

Action steps to take to get off the log

•     Look for examples of achievement and write the people thank you notes and acknowledgment notes, even if you do not know them.

•     Read biographies of achievers.

•     Begin correspondence with one or more achievers.

•     Develop friendship with one or more achievers.

•     Join a service club or community group that other achievers also join. Participate in it.

•     Access your clutter: desk, files, office, home, etc. Spend a week organizing, discarding, acting upon the various items. Be determined to have everything in order by the end of the week. Do not allow yourself any excuses.

•     Contact the person/persons you have been needing to contact about the project you really want to do. Make a budget, an outline, a list of action steps, and go for it.

•     If you find your life slipping back into stagnation, stop, take 3 slow, deep breaths, and use one of the Focusing Statements, repeating it until you are focused again. Now, ask yourself what would be the fulfilling thing to do here. Listen, trust, and take action.

 

In An Instant Everything Changed

 A few years ago, as I thought about how our values are our rules that lead our lives, I had a sudden inspiration. We have 40 Genuine Values instilled in us, in our souls. The problem is that on earth we have challenges, wounds, losses, suffering, and such, and shift to impostor values. The list came tumbling out of me into my computer. " "Values Remembered," a book, a set of cards, and a workshop were born. I taught it in many places. It was impactful.

The situation is that with the betrayal and loss earlier this year, I no longer have copies. This morning I awoke with a jolt. You have the list. Put it on your blog, and discuss each one, one a day for 40 days.

So below you will find the 40 pairs. Look over them and begin to consider which are your 7 key values, the ones resonating deep in your soul.

Tell your friends to join us for this 40 day adventure.

“Values Remembered”

A Values program by Rev. Dr. Marlene Oaks

There are 40 pairs of values. It is helpful to discover or decide which 7 Genuine Values are your key or most important values to you, so that you live a life true to your Higher yourself. So first please consider all 40 and put a star or highlight your 7

Also, we dance the dance of these pairs of opposites. Which way we dance our lives determines our experiences. It takes a lot of courage to turn one’s feet in the direction of the Genuine Values and dance out of the mist into the clarity of authenticity. The important thing is that it can be done, and being aware of it makes it not that difficult after all

Knowing that words have no meaning, but people have meaning that use words, I looked up the 80 words in the Thesaurus and wrote the synonyms. Focus your study and implementation of this program into the essence of it, not wasting time quibbling with the words. By looking at the main word and the sub-words, you can discover just how I am using the word in this program. Listen to your heart as to how they apply to you.

value n. - The social principles, goals, or standards held or accepted by an individual, class, society, etc.

value vt. - To place a certain estimate of worth on a scale of values.

values - The inner rules by which one runs one’s life.

Introduce Yourself To The Values

See where you are in the dance between the pairs of opposites and discover or decide what are your core values anyway, the rules you wish to run your life by?

These may not be all of the values there are, but these are a great start. I think if you succeed in living on the side of the Genuine Values listed here, whatever else will become clear and self-evident to you. If these 40 were lived by a majority of the people of our earth, what kind of a place do you think earth would be? I think it would be a really terrific place to be, even more terrific than it is now. I think we could solve our own problems and our planetary problems.

Just look this list over. Notice where you are with each pair. Maybe make a couple of dots to indicate where you are between the pairs of opposites at this moment and also in general in your life. Then set a goal for each Genuine Value. Between 1 and 10 how important is it for me to fully express this value with my life? Let this number be your initial goal for each value. This is important to do before we go on with the rest of this program together. Take a couple of hours to sincerely consider this list and its relationship to your life.

Genuine Values                                                     Impostor Values

Achievement                            (Goal Number:         )            Stagnation

accomplishing, producing, fulfill, conclude                                                                  inertia, laziness, apathy, failure, undone

Advancement                           (Goal Number:         )            Retreat

improving, progressing, promotion, uplift                                                                       worsen, deteriorate, waste, regress, decay, languish

Adventure       (Goal Number:         )            Unwillingness

pioneering, excitement, daring, quest, mission                      resistant, guarded, over cautious, wary, play it safe

Aesthetics      (Goal Number:         )            Vulgarity

artistic,  beautiful, good taste,  decorous, pleasing                 coarse, discordant, unrefined, low, disrespect for the                                                                                                                                                   lovely                                              

Affection          (Goal Number:         )            Violence

liking, caring, kindness, fondness, favor                                hate, heartlessness, hostility, ruthlessness, savagery

Affiliation        (Goal Number:         )            Separation

community, involvement, bonding, companionship                withdrawal, aloofness, standoffishness, unsocialbleness

Commitment    (Goal Number:         )            Apathy

adopt, action,  consecration, dedication, diligence                 indifference, passive, wait, dawdle, lethargy, resignation

Compassion     (Goal Number:         )            Insensibility   

considerateness, benevolence, mercy, kindness, goodwill                                  unfeeling, unperceptive, unkind, heartless, unsympathetic

Cooperation     (Goal Number:         )            Opposition

teamwork, supportive, consensus, reciprocity, alignment                              self-serving, alone, protest, contradict, clash, friction

Creativity         (Goal Number:         )            Imitation

.inspiration, innovation, originality, authenticity, freshness                              impostor, drivel, inanity, mimicry, copy, repeat       

Discipline         (Goal Number:         )            Pandemonium            

self-control, self-command,  aplomb, practice, apprenticeship                       out of control, disorder, confusion, muddle, slipshod

Faith     (Goal Number:         )                             Fear

rust, reliance, conviction, expectation, optimism, hope                              anxiety concern, dread, doubt, agitation, worry,                                           \                                                                                                            nervousness, faith in what is unwanted   

Famly (Goal Number:         )                               Outsider

kindred, tribespeople, related,  lineage, ancestry, community                             alien, stranger, foreigner, intruder, misfit, blacksheep, other

Forgiveness      (Goal Number:         )            Resentment

patience, pardon, magnanimous, generous                                         discontent, bitterness, anger, fury, acrimony

Freedom           (Goal Number:         )            Confinement

liberation, spontaneity, choice, individualism, independence                              imprisonment, rigidity, restriction, isolation, restrain]

Friendship        (Goal Number:         )            Estrangement

intimacy, trust, harmony, devotion, amicable, respect                              alienation, hostility, distrust, hard feelings, tension

Generosity       (Goal Number:         )            Miserliness

unselfishness, bountiful, bigness, fullness, sufficiency                              pinching, scrimping, tightwad, cheapskate, stingy, withhold

Gratitude         (Goal Number:         )            Ingratitude

appreciation, thanks, praise, indebtedness, bless                  nonacknowledgment, denial, unthankful, curse

Health  (Goal Number:         )                        Unhealthfulness

robust, optimum, vitality, spark, fitness, hale, hearty                            dysfunctional, drab, toxic, unwholesome, polluted

Inner Harmony            (Goal Number:         )           Inner conflict

peace with oneself, accord, oneness, love, acceptance                              at odds with oneself, turmoil, antagonism, opposition

Integrity           (Goal Number:         )            Depravity

congruence, honesty, sincerity, upright, decency, honor                              incongruence, dishonesty insincerity, corruption

Intuition           (Goal Number:         )          Close mindedness

honoring and listening within, insight, revelation                    biased, intolerant, prejudiced, dishonoring insight

Justice  (Goal Number:         )                    Injustice

fairness, impartiality, rightness, balance, right reason                              unfairness, wrongness, biased, one-sidedness, dirt

Learning           (Goal Number:         )            Ignorance

enlightenment, scholarship, intellect, aware                          crass, uninformed, superficial, unaware          

Love    (Goal Number:         )                Hate   

tender, caring, accepting, regard, devotion                            abhor, spite, contempt, detest, loathe, enmity

 oyalty             (Goal Number:         )            Betrayal

allegiance, trust, fidelity, treason, corruption, infidelity                              treason, corruption, infidelity

Order    (Goal Number:         )         Disarray           

organization, stability, current                               inconsistency, restlessness, behind

Peace            (Goal Number:         )           Combat

serenity, calmness, nonviolence, nonaggression, tolerance                              offensive, attack, assault, quarrelsome, violent

Pleasure           (Goal Number:         )                    Pain

hhumor, enjoyment, fun, comfort, ease, happiness, joyfulness               weariness, complaint, sorrow, discomfort, annoyance

Power  (Goal Number:         )                       Impotence

effectiveness, potency, vigor, competency, able, virility                              helpless incompetent, victim, powerless, ineffectual

Prosperity        (Goal Number:         )            Adversity

well-being, successful, winner,  triumph, good fortune, affluence hardship, failure, hard fortune, unsuccessful, loser, tragic

Quality             (Goal Number:         )            Common

excellence, first class, valuable                                            low, base, vile, shabby below par

Responsibility              (Goal Number:         )           Evasion

respond appropriately, stand, sponsor                                  neglect, escape, indolence, ignore, hide from

Security            (Goal Number:         )            Calamity

trustworthiness, safety, reliable, surety,  assurance                humiliation, hardship, ruination, disastrous, uncertain

Self-respect      (Goal Number:         ) Self-hate

trust of self, personal identity, connection, self esteem, dignity                    deprecation, disconnection, detached, deflating, shame

Service             (Goal Number:         )            Disservice      

beneficial, blessing, boon, help                                            damage,  harm, injurious, curse, hurtful

Spirituality       (Goal Number:         )            Irreverence     

closeness to God, faith, inspiration                                       separation, sanctimony, impiety wicked

Variety             (Goal Number:         )            Uniformity

openness to newness, diversity, inclusivity                           closed, homogenous, conformity

Virtue  (Goal Number:         )                 Vice

goodness, purity, spotlessness, innocent                              weakness, fault, wickedness, degradation

Wisdom           (Goal Number:         ) Folly

clear thinking, keen, good sense, comprehension                 foolish, dull, frivolous, drivel, weak

 

 

Are You a Throne of God?

 She democratizes God when she says, “Every faithful soul is a throne of God, if it reverences God wisely.” We are all “cosmic centers,” or thrones of God.  -- "Hildegard of Bingen, A Saint for Our Times" 

 Oh what a picture forms in my head. I may have to try to paint this. Let's unpack this a bit, remembering that with Hildegard there are layers of meaning. 

I agree with all parts of her statement. I have long taught that everyone is sacred, a one of a kind masterpiece of God. Her image of God being a throne in each of our souls is a visual image of that. 

She adds a but, an if. First the modifier, faithful. Are we faithful so that we can even be aware of who we are in Reality?  Or are we shallow and easily distracted?

Then the if, if we reverence God. Are we in awe, in love, filled with gratitude? Or do we just take life for granted or take all credit for ourselves, living from ego?

Then the modifier, wisely. Are we quietly reverencing, deep within, humbly? Or are we boasting and loud? Are we sincere, or are we just fanatical? Does the way we live teach the Reality of God to those paying attention, or do we say "Look at me, look at me!" Or do we teach the opposite as we cheat, lie, gossip, judge, and exhibit the opposite of "the fruits of the Spirit"?

So are we awake to being a "Cosmic Center" with our souls being the "Throne of God"? Are we even willing? What changes would we need to make? Would it be a good thing for us, for the world? How would the world be different if all, or at least many of us, heeded Hildegard's words?

Please think on these things. 

Movin gOn

 This weekend my life opens to a new adventure. I move into my own apartment in a senior apartment complex. It will be different than anything I've lived before, yet the same as all people are at the core human children of God. 

So many hands and feet and hearts and prayers have led me through the valley of betrayal. God's Love  has enfolded me. Spirit has guided and inspired me every single moment. 

Now I will have new experiences, make more friends, and have the comfort of my own place.  I will meet people who I likely never would have met if I hadn't moved there.  It makes me think of Frost's "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and I, I took the one less travelled by..." It will be a place without any trace of Gilbert and the horrifying memories. None of my treasures are mine anymore. All is new courtesy of my wonderful church community. It is a fresh start and up to me to embrace it and celebrate it. 

At 85 I begin a new life. I launch into the unknown every day, and I recognize this a larger unknown than the typical day. It is reassuring to know that as always, God will be there with me. 

May you too remember that wherever you go God is there with you.