Power Costs a Spiritual Price

 

The obsession with power has completely transformed the life of man and dangerously stunted his concern for beauty and grandeur. We have achieved plenty, but lost quality; we have easy access to pleasure, we forget the meaning of joy. But what is more serious is the fact that man’s worship of power has resurrected the demon of power.…When man looks only at that which is useful, he eventually becomes useless to himself. 

              --Rabbi Heschel

He has insightfully described part of our current dilemma. Humans are tending to run roughshod over each other and our planet. There is greediness of wanting, wanting, wanting, of acquiring, acquiring, acquiring.  There is no time for awe and wonder. There is no place for quiet contemplation. 

We hear politicians hurling ugly names, exaggerations, even outright lies to try to gain more power. We hear clergy disparaging and attacking other understandings, even shunning or attacking those who have a differing viewpoint. We see crazed gunmen shooting to kill because they are maybe a bit unstable, but also because of the atmosphere of hyperbole.  We see countries or terrorist groups trying to annihilate other groups.

Sure there are many good people doing good works. But too many are asleep, which allows the ruffians to run wild.

Are we becoming a useless species? Maybe even a blight? Do we have the courage and wisdom to pull back from the edge?

What of Friendship?

 The friend can do for his friend what he cannot do for himself. He can give him counsel in time of difficulty; he can teach him ‘to see himself as others see him’; he can stand by him, when all the world are against him; he can gladden and enlighten him by his presence; he ‘can divide his sorrows,’ he can ‘double his joys;’ he can anticipate his wants. 

                   --- from "The Complete Works of Plato"

 How  many of us have the treasure of such a friendship? I wonder about the so-called modern age. Does its very nature throw up obstacles to deep and abiding relationships? Are we in a frenzied world of information/disinformation overload? Are we occupied with advertising, influencers, alerts on our phones, mountains of emails, the latest podcasts? Are we hyper focused on success? Do we even wedge in moments for prayer, contemplation, spirituality? Where is our focus?

Instead of caring and tending to actual relationships, are our days too filled, too busy?

But then, it occurs to me our first friendship needs to be with ourselves. All those things suggested in the quote from the book on Plato can also apply to our relationship with ourselves. As Jesus and Leviticus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself." I would go so far to say that if you do not love yourself, it is not possible to fully b love your neighbor. That tricky little word "as"tells us a huge truth. I love others as I love myself. I'm hard on myself for this or that reason.  My neighbor does that very thing that upsets me about myself, and I go ballistic.

Jesus gave us a trail of clues to remedy the "as" problem. One was telling us to get the log out of our own eye before trying to get the speck out of our neighbor's eye. Another was not to judge by appearances, but use righteousness judgement. Another was to love one another as he loved you. Look, and you will find a lot more.

Lord, teach me to be a good and true friend for myself, so that I can also be a good and true friend to others. 

Life's Turning Points

 There are those times in our lives that are pivotal. Usually they require a decision - closely related to the word incision, When we make a decision, we cut off other possible choices, A simple example might be - we make a left turn onto Elm St. at 10:22 a.m. That means we can no longer make a decision to make a right turn at 10:22, we cut off that choice. and all that would have gone with it.  Perhaps, if we had turned right something disastrous might have happened, or we might have gotten stuck in a construction zone, or any number of other things. But we turned left along with all that went with that turn.

Yesterday I was honored to participate in a couple's pivot. On Tuesday evenings I lead a Bible Study at the emergency homeless shelter. Two weeks ago I met a middle aged couple who had been together 8  years, but had never married.  They were homeless, but about to move into the transitional shared housing program of the shelter. They wanted to get married. I told them where to get a license, I arranged for them to go to the program's thrift shop to get a nice outfit each, I found a zircon ring in my jewelry because they couldn't afford a ring, I printed out a beautiful commemorate certificate I had made up, I edited my wedding ceremony, etc. One of the ladies who was also in the shelter bought a little cake and  cupcakes for after the ceremony, plus a silk flower bouquet for the bride. My friend found the wedding march on her phone and one of the residents  brought out a little speaker. My friend agreed to be a witness, and the staff person agreed to be the other witness. It was a team effort.

The bride looked radiant as she walked out of the office, down the sidewalk to where the groom and I stood. It all went well, including an enthusiastic kiss at the end, This was a big turning point in their lives. They committed to one another in front of God and witnesses. They made a decision.

I encourage you to think about your decisions. It can be an interesting exercise in taking responsibility for your life.

God bless you one and all,

Moving Forward

 The speed of my overcoming has accelerated. In the not quite 3 months since Gilbert died and I discovered his multiple betrayals, I've gone from frozen in shock, to forcing myself to do a bit each day,to what I'm calling 75% reconstructed.  It feels like I'll make it now.

Prayer and a lot of self-talk all are at the heart of it, along with good counsel from my Pastor and support of friends and family. I still have daily moments when I'm reminded of something, and then remember I don't have that anymore.  I still have imaginary talks with him, What were you thinking? How could you say you loved me, yet take everything of value, or almost everything, away from me? Was all of it a lie? Etc etc etc.

I have my name on a waiting list for an affordable senior  apartment.  Its not what I dreamed of for sure, but it would give me a place to call home and the privacy that would entail.  I might qualify for the two bedroom, so I could have a sewing and art room.

I'm teaching Bible study again at the homeless shelter, and I started leading a spiritual discussion group at the county shelter. I still lead the prayer quilt ministry at church. I'm not doing as much, thank God I have a fantastic team now.

And I started my book on my life. The working title is, "I Wouldn't Believe It Either, If I Hadn't Lived It," So far I have over 70 pages written.  I go back to the beginning. I seem to have been under attack since birth. I need to find an agent to help me get it published. Any prayers for that are really appreciated.

That's my update. God bless you one and all. God bless our planet and everyone upon it.

What Kind of Faith?

 I am reading "Ancient Christianities: The First Five Hundred Years" by Paula Fredriksen. It is an excellent compilation of the history of early Christianity. A lot of  it I already knew, and it is powerful not only to review, but also to have it all togetherin one place. It is definitely worth reading in my estimation.

This morning, during my prayer time, a thought rose up. Yes, there was turmoil, angry fights, even murder and executions within Christianity.  Yes, there were intrigues and ridiculous battles over points of view, some of them seemingly minute. Yes, the development of theology is messy, and in many cases, it ended in theology being made by Imperial fiat. Yes, it shifted the focus away from Jesus and what he taught.

It shifted from having the faith of Jesus to having faith in Jesus be the focus. It stopped trying to be like Jesus to just believing the creeds made up by the Imperial church. It made him something he did not claim to be, at least until later writings such as John made claims for him, putting things on his lips that  no other writer put there.

And yet, I know from my life that there is something not able to be destroyed by the inflated egos of men, by the bouts of power struggles, or by the ugliness done in the name of Jesus. There is something that informs me from the depths, that is here with me, that is more than me. It is in synch with the Jesus before the battles, at least the Jesus of the earliest writing.

I aim to have faith as Jesus taught and modeled - the faith of Jesus, his kind of closeness to God, his lovingness, his kindness, his healing presence. 

Like Moving a Giant Block of Conrete

 In case you get stuck, even depressed, I want to share my recent strategy with you. It's working for me, so I think it might work for you too.

When I discovered the mountain of betrayal, the huge web of lies and fantasy woven by Gilbert, I first went into shock, as you know, if you have been reading bits of it that I began posting on April 14th.

This morning I want to share some of what I did, and am doing to vget though this mess and pain, i've not a person who has had depression, but I think the beginning shock was a kind of depression. I was numb, unable to do usual things, So, I remembered telling so many people over the years that depression is energy turned inward that needed to be turned out - express rather than depress.

It did feel like a giant concrete block that I had to turn. With all of my might I decided to do one thing a day, make one call, fill in one form, make one appointment. Then, in a couple of days, I did two things a day, then three. Now I am at maybe80% of my usual activiies. The giant concrete block is now pretty small.

I also talked it through, out loud ofen. What were you thinking? I loved you so much, and it seems you didn't love me. Why on earth would you get rid of all of the treasures and money? etc.

I also cried and felt the anguish. I remember this or that event in our lives, I femember this or that now lost treasure and what it stands for, but is in someone else's hands now without its meaning, its story.

And I pray. 

Lord, I know Your Presence, for You have lifted and guided me all of the days of my life. Through deep and difficult valleys, through glorous mountain tops, You have been with me. You have spoken to me in whispers and in shouts. You have protected me, so that I am still here and more or less in one piece. Now I ask You for restoration. Restore me. Heal me. Lift me through this valley. Help me release this all to You. Open whatever doors You want me to walk throgh to be of service and to fulfill my purose for coming to earth. And, if possible, restore the soul of Gilbert to the pristine soul You created, washing away all of the darkness. I am thankful, for I know You hear my prayer. I ask it in he name of Christ, and I seal it with the ancient seal of faith and integrity Amen, Amen, and Amen

Life Continues

 Life continues is a saying of a dear friend of mine, when faced with one of life's challenges. It has a lot of layers of meaning. Yes, there is a problem, but I'm still here and can do something, whether it be take  an outward action or an inner one.

You may be wondering, what is an inner action? It could be many internal things. I could pray. I could talk to myself in a different way about whtever it is. I could release it, and just let go.

Let's consider self-talk for a moment. Inside of us we carry on a monologue. Often people say things in the privacy of their heads that they would not likely say outloud. They speak internally judgmental, angry, even hateful things. Of course that kind of internal self-talk can lead to external action that is not spiritual at all, even violent actions a person talks themselves into. As within, so without, is an old addage.

For example, someone pulls in front of you on the freeway. You can thinkthat person did it intentionally to upset you, or that person is rude, or who does that person think they are? or some such thing. You then are upset for while, taking that momentary upset into tyhe future, maybe even telling someone else about later. OR you could think, that person is in a hurry and must be late for something important, or that person was distracted because of some problem intheir life, or that person is a bad driver - and let it go. It no longer is in your thoughts.

These are simple examples. The first example can become serious if that kind of thinking is a pattern. It can become serious. when it is about an actually important issue. It can become violent.

What to do? I think it is essential to be aware of how we represent events in our lives to ourslves. Are we kind and generous-hearted as we talk to ourselves about tnings and people? Do we pretend we can know someone else's motives?  Do we take things personally that are not about us? Even if it is about us, what is the wise way to respond? Do we upset ourselves in such a way we are not acting in a kind, healthy, spiritual way? 

We need to be the caretakers of our own minds. We need to be vigilant. Otherwise we will not be a beneficial presence. We will not grow spiritually. We are the only ones who can align our self-talk with the highest and best. Become a success coach to yourself.