I am reading "Ancient Christianities: The First Five Hundred Years" by Paula Fredriksen. It is an excellent compilation of the history of early Christianity. A lot of it I already knew, and it is powerful not only to review, but also to have it all togetherin one place. It is definitely worth reading in my estimation.
This morning, during my prayer time, a thought rose up. Yes, there was turmoil, angry fights, even murder and executions within Christianity. Yes, there were intrigues and ridiculous battles over points of view, some of them seemingly minute. Yes, the development of theology is messy, and in many cases, it ended in theology being made by Imperial fiat. Yes, it shifted the focus away from Jesus and what he taught.
It shifted from having the faith of Jesus to having faith in Jesus be the focus. It stopped trying to be like Jesus to just believing the creeds made up by the Imperial church. It made him something he did not claim to be, at least until later writings such as John made claims for him, putting things on his lips that no other writer put there.
And yet, I know from my life that there is something not able to be destroyed by the inflated egos of men, by the bouts of power struggles, or by the ugliness done in the name of Jesus. There is something that informs me from the depths, that is here with me, that is more than me. It is in synch with the Jesus before the battles, at least the Jesus of the earliest writing.
I aim to have faith as Jesus taught and modeled - the faith of Jesus, his kind of closeness to God, his lovingness, his kindness, his healing presence.