Day - 17 - Friendship - Estrangement

 Friendship        (Goal Number:         )                         Estrangement

intimacy, trust, harmony, devotion, amicable, respect                              alienation, hostility, distrust, hard feelings, tension

 AWAKE TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

You have several close, long-time friends. You are comfortable to share deply with your friends. At the same time, you are friendly with almost everyone, You are a loyal and devoted friend, and encourage them to be their best and go for their dreams. You are not intimidated by their successes, and you celebrate successes together. You respect your friends and the relationships you share. Friendship is extremely important to you.

 PARTIALLY ASLEEP TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

You have maybe one or two long-time friends. Your relationships mostly skate on the surface. You can take or leave getting together with others. When you do get together with others, it is pleasant and fine and usually a party or some group activity. You are not disloyal, but you are lukewarm in your commitments to others.

LIVING IN THE IMPOSTOR VALUE:

You feel estranged from most people, so much so that your attitude tends to alienate others. You have not kept in touch with people, so you really don’t have any long-term friends. You may have some long-term acquaintances, but they are not important in your life. You have difficulty trusting yourself and others too. There are some unresolved hard feelings between you and several people. You tend to be tense, when around others who are trying to be friendly.

Look at your life. Which is the most true for you?   ____ 1   _____ 2  _____ 3

What to do:

DECISION

Choose. Imagine a life that is enjoyed with wonderful friends that you trust and love. Then imagine a world of being a stranger to everyone, for you are basically alone.Which do you want for yourself and your world? Which way would you like life to be?

FOCUSING YOUR MIND

Going for the target you have chosen

To shift in the direction of friendship, select some or all of the following and copy them in order to have them with you. Live with them. Think about them. Absorb them.

·       I know to have a friend, I have to be a friend.

·       I risk making connections that can lead to genuine friendships.

·       I find others that can become good friends.

·       I truly desire to be a friend and have a friend.

·       It is easier and easier for me to be friendly.

REINFORCING BEHAVIORS

Action steps to take to get off the log

•           Look up someone from your past and get together with them.

·       Join an organization of like-minded people, such as artists, garden enthusiasts, astronomy group, fast walkers, etc..

·       Volunteer at a charity or church.

·       Reach out to those who have hard feelings toward you, or you toward them. Focus on healing that situation.

·       Develop strong self-respect by being true to yourself. Out of that respect, develop respect for others.                      

Remember Fiendship

Day 16 - Freedom - Confinement

 Freedom           (Goal Number:         )                         Confinement

liberation, spontaneity, choice, individualism, independence                imprisonment, rigidity, restriction, isolation, restrain

  AWAKE TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

You experience a certain level of freedom in all areas of your life, even when going through a valley. You are not controlled by irrational demands, as you are liberated from being other directed. You direct yourself with high inner standards. You have a joyful spontaneity about you, often surprising others. You give yourself permission to make choices in harmony with your higher self. You are about as independent as you can be, yet you work well with others, as long as they do not try to manipulate or control you.

 PARTIALLY ASLEEP TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

If you look carefully at your life, you will see that you have given up parts of your freedom. You sometimes give in to others, even if your intuition is shouting “NO”. You only occasionally feel,free enough to be spontaneous. You limit your choices to be in alignment with the group with which you associate. You are more dependent than independent.

LIVING IN THE IMPOSTOR VALUE:

You are imprisoned by your fear of freedom. You need desperately to belong. You are usually rigid in your thinking nd actions, keeping them in line with those of others from whom you seek approval. This restricts your life in a multitude of ways. You often feel isolated, because deep down you know your are not being honest with yourself or others by denying what you really think, and endeavoring to fit in at whatever cost. You are trapped and confined by your own fears and choices.

Look at your life. Which is the most true for you?   ____ 1   _____ 2  _____ 3

What to do:

DECISION

Choose. Imagine a world where people felt free to live and express in joy. Then imagine a world where everyone felt extremely confined, hiding their true selves. Which do you want for yourself and your world? Which way would you like life to be?

FOCUSING YOUR MIND

Going for the target you have chosen

To shift in the direction of freedom, select some or all of the following and copy them in order to have them with you. Live with them. Think about them. Absorb them.

·       I am free to be me, as long as I cause no harm.

·       I have the freedom to expand my thinking and doing.

·       I look outside of the box in which I have placed myself.

·       I have many choices, and I consider them all.

·       It is important to be true to myself, even if others do not agree with me.

·       I am learning to be more and more spontaneous.

REINFORCING BEHAVIORS

Action steps to take to get off the log

·       Make a list of all of the activities, people, groups, and points of view that confine you. Which of them are not good for you? What can you do about that?

·       Make up some exercises to practice spontaneity such as: walk up to a stranger in a store and tell them something positive about themselves (your smile made my day). Invite a friend to a movie at the last minute. Go for a walk in nature and hug a tree. In the shower make up a song.

·       Pick one idea about which you hold rigid ideas and beliefs. Read up about he opposite point of view. Watch a couple of videos of people with opposite points of view. Notice they have some good points. Maybe all is not black vs white, all vs nothing.

·       Find the little cartoon “Joshua in a Box” on the internet and watch it. What does it tell you about freedom and confinement?

Remember Freedom

Day 15 - Forgiveness - Resentment

 Forgiveness                  (Goal Number:         )           Resentment

patience, pardon, magnanimous, generous                                          discontent, bitterness, anger, fury, acrimony

AWAKE TO THE GENUINE VALUE:

Your heart is full of forgiveness and mercy. You realize you need to forgive, not only for the other person or situation, but also to set yourself free from carrying the burden and reliving it over and over. You understand that pardoning does not necessarily mean you give your stamp of approval on what was done, but that you do not fully know the heart of theother person or persons. You cannot set yourself up as judge and jury. You also realize you do not have to have mean-spirited people in your life; you can walk away. You come to life with a generous attitude and are considered a kind and magnanimous person. You know that all great religions teach forgiveness as a virtue, for lack of it inhibits spiritual growth and understanding.And most of all, you forgive yourself,

 PARTIALLY ASLEEP TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

You are mostly a forgiving person. However, there are those whom you consider to be unforgivable. You have a tinge of resentment when you see people moving on in their lives, but you feel they don’t deserve to be off the hook. You hold onto some painful memories and refuse to forgive and let go of some things. You have not fully forgiven yourself. You may have some lack of forgiveness for God as well.

LIVING IN THE IMPOSTOR VALUE:

Your ooze resentment. You are not at peace, but experience a great deal of discontent. You are a bitter person a lot of the time. You have flurries of anger and fury over this or that person or situation. You torture yourself with telling the story of how you have been hurt, over and over and over again – to yourself and to anyone who will listen. You refuse to let go and set yourself free. Your negativity is so pervasive that you apply it to even neutral situations. Sometimes, everyone and everything upset you. You are unhappy, and blame everyone else. No one seems to meet your standards, including yourself. It likely has not even occurred to you that you need to forgive yourself. Resentment is your way of life.

Look at your life. Which is the most true for you?   ____ 1   _____ 2  _____ 3

What to do:

DECISION

Choose. Imagine a world healed by forgiveness. Then imagine a world that runs completely on resentment and lack of forgiveness. Which do you want for yourself and your world? Which way would you like life to be?

FOCUSING YOUR MIND

Going for the target you have chosen

To shift in the direction of forgiveness, select some or all of the following and copy them in order to have them with you. Live with them. Think about them. Absorb them.

•        I forgive myself. I bless myself. I release myself. I love myself.

•        I am all right, right now.

•        I learn from the past and let it go.

•        Is the pain I feel worth the price I have to pay to keep it in place?

•        I am a loving, forgiving, caring person.

•        I forgive as many times as it takes until the memory has lost its sting and is neutralized.

•        Forgiveness is the key I have been looking for.

(Check out my book on forgiveness on Amazon in the Kindle store)

 

REINFORCING BEHAVIORS

Action steps to take to get off the log

·       Take a deep breath and let go. I breathe in forgiveness and breathe out resentment.

·       Complete any unfinished business and make amends whenever possible.

·       Watch your thoughts and words, catching any resentful feelings, and immediately turn that around, refusing to live a negative life.

·       Become alert to any opportunities to express kindness and generosity, and do so.

·       Write a note of forgiveness to someone you need to forgive.

· Spend time thinking about how you are responsible for your own life, and how excuses don’t give you what you want and need. Recognize that this is true, not based on what others are doing or saying. Work on becoming inner-directed.

·       Reach out to others you may have hurt and ask for forgiveness.

·       Spend time forgiving yourself for your failings, real or imagined.

·       Forgive God. You are granted freewill. Own your choices, both positive and negative.

Day 14 - Family - Outsider

 Family                  (Goal Number:         )               Outsider

kindred, tribespeople, related,  lineage, ancestry, community                  alien, stranger, foreigner, intruder, misfit,

                                                                                                                 blacksheep, other

AWAKE TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

You treasure youir family, striving at all times to smooth over misunderstandings and maintain  caring and loving relationships. You also have a sense of the faily of humankind. You have a sense of being kindred souls with others. Our ancestry is so intermingled, that even at the physical level, you sense we are at least distant cousins. You try to encourage a sense of community in all groups of which you are a part. You find it difficult to understand violence and war, knowing how we are one family who share this earth. In so many ways, what hurts one, hurts all.

 PARTIALLY ASLEEP TO THE GENUINE VALUE:

You have lukewarm relationships with most of your family members, and perhaps some very cold and critical relationships with others. This attitude carries over to your attitudes toward humankind in general. You are very selective about who you let in to your inner circle. You do not have a universal outlook toward others. Some are okay, others to be avoided. And some are to be eliminated.

LIVING IN THE IMPOSTOR VALUE:

For you, almost everybody is an outsider. Strangers are immediately suspect. You define foreigners as anyone not in “your” group. They are outsiders to you in all ways, and you apply negative labels to them.You do not see individuals; you see groups and label everyone in the group as the same, usually with a long list of negative descriptors. They are other, and so fair game. You are considered  a prejudiced person, and you are proud of it.

Look at your life. Which is the most true for you?   ____ 1   _____ 2  _____ 3

What to do:

DECISION

Choose. Imagine a world where everyone is treated as family, loved, encouraged, and accepted. Then imagine a world where everyone is treated as an outsider, a suspicious outsider. Which do you want for yourself and your world? Which way would you like life to be?

FOCUSING YOUR MIND

Going for the target you have chosen

To shift in the direction of family, select some or all of the following and copy them in order to have them with you. Live with them. Think about them. Absorb them.

•        We are one people, one human family.

•        Each person is unique and also sacred, that is, a one-of-a-kind masterpiece.

•        I am getting better at looking beyond the appearance and seeing the inner truth.

•        I see the need for caring behind the pain in the eyes of others.

•        I strive to encourage a sense of community and caring,

•        I welcome new people into my life.

•        We all have something to contribute.

REINFORCING BEHAVIORS

Action steps to take to get off the log

Ø  Read up on the genealogy that tells us we all descend from one biological female about 200,00 years ago in Africa, and one biological male about 75,000 years ago in the Middle East - all other strands of DNA having died out.

Ø  Interview some of your family members about the stories of their lives with a heart to understand. Perhaps even write some short stories about them, compile them into a booklet, and give it as a gift to other family members.

Ø  Make a point of getting to know some people outside of your usual circle.

Ø  Do something helpful in your town for people you would otherwise never meet, such as volunteer at a food bank, homeless shelter, or a thrift store.

Ø  If you are particularly negative about a certain group, read up on their culture and history.

Day 13 - Second Day of Reflection

Take this time to consider the six value sets of this week Take note of the one that calls to you most, and the one you feel less drawn to or even upsets you.

What about them stirs your iner respones? What do you need to learn from these in particular? 

Spend some time re-reading these two and contemplating them.

Perhaps the Holy Spirit in you is calling you to open to something new and expanding.  Warm to this possibility.

No matter how far you've come, remember God is Infinite, and we can never know all there is. We can continue on the path, letting go of what was, embracing what can be, and walk on toward and with that Infinite One, always striving to be the best version of ourselves. It matters.

Day 12 - Faith - Fear

 Faith                         (Goal Number:         )            Fear

trust, reliance, conviction, expectation, optimism, hope                              anxiety, concern, dread, doubt, agitation, worry,                                                                                                                                                             nervousness

 AWAKE TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

You are a faith-filled and trusting person, You have faith in God, yourself, and in others. Your trust is constant unless someone shows themselves consistently to be untrustworthy. You yourself are completely trustworthy. Others can rely on you. You have deep convictions to which you are true. You expect good things, and agree with Paul’s thought that all things work together for good for those who trust God and live according to his purpose. You are known as an optimistic person, even in dark times, for you have faith it will work out.  You walk with hope. You are certain great things can happen, and you are exited about being part of it.

 PARTIALLY ASLEEP TO THE GENUINE VALUE: 

You have faith, but it is not rock solid. You waver from time to time. You are a bit suspicious of certain people or ideas, without having reasons to do so. You think things might work out, or at least some things will. You waver between being optimistic and pessimistic. You expect things might be okay, but you don’t expect great things. Your life is a little wobbly. 

LIVING IN THE IMPOSTOR VALUE:

Your faith is in fear. You are afraid of many things. You have faith that things will not work out. You jmay even expect catastrophe in various areas. You fear whatever is alien to you or your mindset. You fear others will intrude in your life, so you prefer to keep a distance between you and others. Sometimes you experience dread and doubt about things. You tend to get agitated and are nervous. You find yourself worrying, usually needlessly. You have very little hope for things to get better. Your life is grim, and often you sink into hopelessness.

Look at your life. Which is the most true for you?   ____ 1   _____ 2  _____ 3

What to do:

DECISION

Imagine a world where people have positive faith. Great things are happening. The air is electric with hope. Then imagine a world ruled by fear, where people have faith in dreadful things about to happen and so have no hope.

Choose. Which do you want for yourself and your world? Which way would you like life to be?

FOCUSING YOUR MIND

Going for the target you have chosen

To shift in the direction of faith, select some or all of the following and copy them in order to have them with you. Live with them. Think about them. Absorb them.

•        Positive Faith guides my life.

•        I am filled with hope.

•        I expect great things.

•        I am known as an optimistic person.

•        I am confident that I will be guided to do great and interesting things.

•        I know, as I have faith that there are solutions for all problems. I am open to solutions.

•        Today is overflowing with promise.

REINFORCING BEHAVIORS

Action steps to take to get off the log

•        Spend some time contemplating our planet, its vast orbit, and the 584 million miles we all travel each year in that orbit. Realize what faith you have that all will be well.

•        Think of something where fear guides you. Investigate it, Google it, read up on it. Are there a variety of opinions and understandings about it? Is it really necessary to fear it? Is it time to change your mind?

•        Read stories by or about people of great faith.

•        Recall times in your life when you had faith, and it all worked oit.

•        Wander around nature. Do you have faith the tree will remain a tree, a flower will reain a flower, a rock will reain a rock? Or do you fear they will suddenly morph into something else? Realize how much faith you have and tell fear to take a hike.

•        Look in yourself. Weed out any habit, any belief, anything that keeps you trapped in fear. Fill the holes with faith in God, faith in the spark of God in you, faith in healing and wholeness.

• Remind yourself that there are answers and solutions for all problems. Fear only shuts down the mind, so we can’t find them, or even give up looking.

Decide, keep deciding until it sticks, that positive faith is my path, my way to be.